Ninety-one

My dad is 91 years, two months, and 21 days old.  He has pulmonary hypertension, chronic renal insufficiency, congestive heart failure, anemia, tricuspid valve regurgitation, and right ventricular enlargement.  And shingles.  He had 900cc of fluid drained from his right lung on Monday.

On the white board in his hospital room, which displayed chipper notations like "My goals for today are...", his self-rated pain scale is 0.  Every caregiver I talk to - every single one - makes a point to tell me what a delightful person my dad is, how good he makes them feel, what wonderful conversations they enjoy with him.  I wonder if these two facts - no admitted pain, his natural warmth - allow people to think he doesn't need much care.  That would fit with his life story, that he doesn't like to be a burden.

When my dad was a baby, he was gravely ill.  My grandparents thought he would die and they made a bargain with God: if God would spare Franklin, their second son and fifth child, my grandparents would 'answer the call' to the mission field in China.  The baby recovered, and soon the whole family found themselves on a boat to China in 1921, where they would live for the next 10 years.  Six other children were born while they were in China, and few of the siblings had much positive to say about their time there.  So it isn't too surprising that my dad does not call much attention to himself when he feels poorly.

After the weekend at the hospital getting topped up with a couple of units he came "home" yesterday, not back to assisted living with mom but to the skilled nursing unit downstairs.  He gets dizzy and short of breath because of his anemia and all the things wrong with his heart and is a risk to fall, so he needs help if he wants to get out of bed or a chair.  Mom has been shouldering this burden for him for many months now, believing that she could keep him from fainting and falling, but of course the danger of both of them getting hurt is too great.  She is having a pretty hard time with all this change, with him being in the hospital for so many days, with him not living with her, with her partner and best and only real friend less available.  The hope is that he will be able to regain enough strength so he can get return to some of his daily activities with mom.  We know though that the fluid will return and his anemia will worsen again.

I am going to take advantage of the fact that no one reads this blog to use it as a place to record what happens next, and maybe a place to learn whatever my dad has to teach me now at the end of his long life.  I hope I will be able to discern and listen to what he has for me.